COVAC 2009 Ride Report - better late than never

The day started out so promising, I took Charlie's checklist of stuff I'd need for a century, added beer, camera, iPod and cell phone to it and thought I was all set. Everything packed the night before so I could roll out of bed, put the bike on the roof rack and head out.
Once again, I remember essentials such as iPod and beer, forget other stuff like sunscreen, my good sunglasses, bandanas (so as not to sweat over all my fellow riders), towels, a facecloth to clean up with after the ride. And post ride food. But the beer tasted pretty damn good at the end!
For some reason I never sleep well the night before something big like COVAC, an early morning flight, or anything else that requires me waking up before noon. It's not that I dwell on the event itself, or that I have undue anxiety about it, or anything like that that keeps me up at night. It's thinking about not getting enough sleep that keeps me up. And of course the fear of not waking up when the alarm goes off. Even with one of those wind up alarm clocks with the two bells on top that would wake the neighbots up, I know that with ambien and ear plugs you can sleep through stuff like wind up alarm clocks, the block party next door, the police sirens coming to break up said party after the gun shots start going off.
So maybe my worst mistake was not taking the ambien because I slept like crap and 4:30 came very quick.
After packing up the bike and other stuff, headed out, rolled into the hotel parking lot a little after 6:00, I was surprised to see the number of people already there, especially with less than ideal weather.
It was probably a little after 6:20 when we rolled out.
Pulling out of the parking lot I was already nervous about being the last car out , as we headed up route 2 I made a conscious effort to slowly move up until I was about 3rd or 4th wheel, er I mean car from the front.
There were two reasons for wanting to move to the front. One, I have no idea how to get to Hatfield and was afraid of getting dropped at a red light and missing the ride (Peter Cunningham told me missing the start really sucks). And two even more importantly - the first to get to the dunkin donuts parking lot in Hadley gets a primo spot in line to the rest room.

The weather driving down route 2 was to say the least, dreary. I kept hoping things would clear up by the time we got to COVAC, but it remained dismal as we turned off 2 and started the drive down 202. I was about ready to turn around and go back home and ride the rollers (which in hindsight woud've been a good idea) but I had a feeling the weather was about to turn.
And while driving down 202 it started happening, slowly at first, but it was obvious, the sky started to brighten, just a little but it was enough to make me hopeful everything would clear by the time we hit Hatfield.
And then as we drove over a hill close to the Quabbin it happened! The sun came out, ever so briefly, but it was there. And not coincidentally at the same time as the sun was breaking through the clouds the song "Lucky" by Radiohead (one of my all time favs) came out of my ipod, "I feel my luck could change", "it's going to be a glorious day" - and I somehow knew it was going to be a glorious day indeed.
Driving into Amherst it got even brighter until we got to Rt 9 and when the sun was totally through the clouds! Yahooooooo!

Stopped at Hadley D&D for a bio break, carbs and cafine - while there Daren pulled out the biggest bagle and cream cheese I'd ever seen (he'd be holding onto it since he and Nataline left home, how he made it all the way from home to Hadley without eating it was beyond me, but he did - it looked damn good and i wanted some). And then as we were looking at an oversized advertisement for one of D&D's products I learned about his fondness for the D&D Chicken Parm flatbread sandwich (served all day in case you ever have a craving for one at 7:00am on a Sunday morning) - I know he wanted it, but to his credit he resisted, I guess the 2lb bagle and cream cheese was enough of a pre-COVAC ride meal.
After the D&D stop we headed to COVAC, getting there a little after 8:00A, by the time we were done getting set up, photos,etc it was probably close to 8:30 before we got started.

The stats:
Miles 103.3
Time: 292 minutes (4 hours 50 minutes)
Average MPH: 21.2
Average Heart Rate: HC (that's beyond category)


Personally I think of this year's ride as "the Good the Bad and the Ugly" except I'm calling it "The Good, The Better, The Bad and the really Ugly", each segment based on 25 mile increments.

Part 1: The Good

The 1st 25 miles were very civilized, everyone taking their time warming up, enjoying each other's company, laughing it up, I think we were all hoping for a nice easy ride at a managable 20mph pace from start to finish. At least I was hoping that would be the plan.
During this time a certain un-named rider again pointed out the new helmet they were wearing, and the nice fragrent scent of it, a cross between lilac, honeydew and a dryer sheet (I know I mentioned this before, but one of my favorite scents while taking a leisurely Saturday afternoon ride is of Downy coming out of someone's dryer vent).
I also learned that you can actually GAIN weight riding COVAC! Who knew, but between the Hadley Dunkin Donut stop, the 3 SAG stops filled with yummies, and the post ride dinner, race reporter Natalie Couric explained to me her theory of weight gain during a 103 mile ride before interviewing your's truly (with microphone and all) asking what I planned on eating at that first SAG. I lied telling her some fruit, a muffin, maybe a banana. But I had my heart set on other things after Dave Lystila told me they were actually going to be serving up hot turkey dinners complete with stuffing, mashed potato smothered in gravy (mmmmm, gravy!) served with with a slice of fresh pumpkin pie and hot coffee to top it off with, The other dinner option was a Dunkin Donut chicken parm flat bread sandwich. Boy was I ever psyched to get to mile 25, even though it was a huge disapointment when we pulled in that SAG and all that was presented me was fruit, muffins, and bananas. Where the hell was the turkey dinner?!
Oh well, the banana, muffin, chex mix and water was still good, maybe the the chicken parm flat bread sandwiches would be waiting at mile 50.

Oh yeah, before we even got to the first SAG, somewhere around mile 20 there was a group of of us working real well together, like a machine we had the paceline thing working like a freight train tearing up the tracks, each of us taking turns at the front, all I could think of was this must've been what it was like for Astana doing the team time trial at this year's TDF……. That is until we went right when the rest of the ride was laughing at us as they followed the course to the left - I didn't notice who was out front and missed that turn (could've been me), but whoever it was, thanks for the extra watts needed to connect back up to the group. They would've come in handy around say mile 62.

Back to the 25 mile stop, pulling out someone flatted, I think it was Peter Cunningham which was good because he can swap a tube as quick as anyone. While we were waiting I noticed Daren was already low on water, with his one water bottle that someone loaned him back at the Hadley Dunkin Donuts (if you see the photos, the water bottle Daren is drinking from is actually a "free one" Gene gave me when I once spent $4000 on a new bike) - so if Daren is reading this, I want that water bottle back!
But that's not the story. To help unload some weight from her bike Natalie offered Daren some of her water from a bottle she was about to empty, he declined (maybe thinking she might need it somewhere before mile 50), so she starts pouring it out on the ground - Daren had an indescribable look of shock on his face watching the precious liquid spilling out on the pavement, I thought he was going to get down on his knees and start lapping it up, but he managed to catch her before the entire bottle was emptied and she gave him what was left.

Part 2: The Better

As we started out from mile 25 we were averaging a managable 19mph pace.
I can’t remember all the details of the next 25 miles, I do remember the pace began picking up - slowly. Somewhere in Greenfield we had to take a left, right, left slowing us down until we reached route 10(?) - and the tempo quickly picked up to the point where I don't remember my computer ever going below 20mph, at points we were over 30, working as a group, taking turns on the front - Tattoo Dave and several others were driving the pace to the point of insanity as the rest of us tried to hold the wheels of those on the front. At least it was flat so it was kind of fun.

Here's something not to say on a group ride (this happened maybe around mile 45) - we were cooking along working well as a group, being the nice guy I am I try to be accomodating to other riders riding on the outside of the paceline letting them pull in instead of having them drift all the way to the back of the line. That is as long as they meet the following requirements:
1. Are considerate and don't try forceing themselves between riders to avoid falling back (there are 2 or 5 Tuesday nighters who consistantly fall short of this requirement).
2. Are part of our group (no sandbaggers from Cyclonauts unless it's Dawn)
3. And their helmet doesn't smell
A certain female rider was on the outside, she looked over to to her right, I fell back and told her to jump in, someone behind jokingly told me "Don't let Natalie in". What not to say on a group ride? "I don't mind, I really don't want to look at Mark's (Muzzi) ass anyway", which was true enough but no sooner were the words out of my mouth when I realized how it must've sounded to the female rider I let in and every other female rider reading this who will now never want to ride in front of me (damn pervert!).
Fortunately the female with the fresh helmet took it all in stride, but I'm not sure how Daren felt after I told him abou the comment - it was only a couple of weeks ago I was commenting on his new saddle, I have to learn to keep my eyes up and my mouth shut!

Just as we were pulling up to mile 50 rest area Greg prophetically summed up our riding over the previous 25 miles. "What we just did was really dumb!", he went on to explain that it was stupid of us to expend so much energy drilling it on the easiest part of the ride and that we'd eventually pay the price on the next 30 miles when we hit the hills.
Prophetic indeed.
But then Tattoo Dave said something else - "sometimes you just can't say no when the speed picks up", hmmmm a paradox indeed. "To go or not to go, that is the question"
The next stretch was going to be interesting.

Mile 50 SAG
If you're not interested in reading out my digestive system I strongly recommend you skip this next part (don't read between the brackets, you can't say you weren't warned)

[When we pulled into the SAG my stomach wasn't feeling too well, I guess I should've taken one of Big Dave's Tums he keeps in his saddle bag. I was suffering from a bout of gastric distress and needed some relief, but this creates a big problem problem for me in that there are 2 places I can’t take a poop, an airplane and a portapotty - oh, and any rest stop on the Jersey turnpike. I was feeling pretty bad, so much so I didn't even care that they had no Chicken Parm flat bread sandwiches at the stop. Having no choice I went into one of the porta-johns, closed the door (and my eyes) and tried to think of pleasant thoughts to take my mind off my environment - a nice beach, Sedona, the scent of fresh lilacs, honeydews and laundry sheets. When none of that worked I dug deep into my bag of psychological tricks, visualizing a soft serve ice cream machine, the kind they have at Carol's Dairy Bar and the Dairy Queen, when I was a kid I always liked the vanilla-chocolate swirl soft serve and sitting there I dredged up old memories of the ice cream coming out of the machine, but not even that worked - this wasn't good. I hoped that it would pass (as these things sometimes do), I'd find out real soon.]

Anyways, at the stop I met up with a couple of Tuesday nighters includig Dawn (the superfast woman on the blue Trek riding with the camelback, and another woman who does tris and rides an awesome yellow Pinerello - they are in Charlie's photos). It was nice seeing them as well as a couple other people I recogized.

Part 3: The Bad

"Sometimes you can't say no", I couldn't get Tattoo Dave's words out of my head as we rolled out of the 50 mile stop at a leisurly pace on our way up to Brattleboro - we all made it over the tracks without any bike damage or concussions.
When we pulled into Brattleboro all I could think about was stopping at McNeils Brewery for a nice cold Dead Horse IPA or Duck's Breath ESB, but alas they don't open until 4 so I pedaled on.
Once we were over the bridge and into NH the pace again picked up. Because it was still flat it wasn't too brutal, but there was still some suffering involved. "Hold the wheel in front of you" I thought, another nugget of wisdom someone passed on to me earlier this year to make the suffering even worse, we were pushing a 25+ average as the miles quickly rolled by. And I was watching everyone one of them tick off on my computer, counting them down, mile 57, 58, mile 59, getting closer and closer to mile 62 - "sometimes you can't say no", "hold the wheel in front of you", "the fresh scent of lilac, honeydew and dryer sheets", "what am I doing trying to ride with these guys?", thoughts that kept spinning over and over through my head - at this point I made a deal with myself - hang with the group to the next SAG and you can take it easy on the last 20 miles.
It didn't work.
The organizers of the ride did an especially good job of timing the ride so the hottest part of the day coincides with the toughest part of the ride, the hills that start around mile 62. Up until then It didn't seem especially hot, but then the hills started and it felt like 90 with 90% humidity. The first hill wasn't too bad, I managed to hang on to most of the group, except for the kid in the NEBC kit on the black Super6, he was off the front.
Each consecutive hill seemed to get worse and worse, by the 3rd one I was hanging on by a thread.
And then I hit the hill I hate the most, I believe it's coming into the center of Northfield, it isn't even the steepest, but it's the most cruel because it comes at a time when I'm completely wasted from the heat and brutality of the pace set by Tattoo Dave, Big Dustin Pedroia, NEBC on the Super6, Lee, John on the black and gray Cdale, Florida Ken, and several others I was too gassed to remember who they were. Going up that hill is like climbing the Col De Tourmelet, only instead of it being a 19km climb at 7-10% gradient, it's like 1/2km at 2%. Either way, for me it's an HC climb and that was where I lost all contact with the lead group, and the suffering began in earnest.
Time to make a decision - 1. try and bridge up to the lead group (not happening), 2. wait for the main peleton to show up and ride it out with them, 3. ride my own pace for the next 10 or so miles to the last SAG.
I opted for option 3, hoping that I was going slow enough that option 2 would come into play.
It didn't and it was not a pleasant experience trying to go it alone. The miles were no longer ticking off at such a quick pace, 1 mile seemed like 10, 2 miles seemed like 25, 3 miles seemed like 50. "Just keep turning the pedals, ride your own pace, the rest of the group will pick you up soon enough", "lilacs, honeydew and dryer sheets", D&D chicken parm flat breads, Liz Hatch waiting to massage my aching legs at mile 80, all of these thoughts kept turning over and over in my head, but none of them were helping to relieve the suffering.
Over every hill, around every turn I kept hoping to see the sign for the last SAG, but it never came which is when I noticed there weren't any riders in sight, anywhere. Did I miss a turn? I was screwed if I did because I had a cell phone, but no one's number to call. I wasn't going to ask one of the locals for help because I know what happened in the movie Deliverance and I didn't want to be doing any squeeling. Nothing to do except pedal on, suffer, and worry.


Mile 80 SAG
Finally made it!
All the guys from the lead group were there, lounging around like they had just spent the last 30 miles at the spa.
I didn't dare sit for fear that I would never get up to finish the ride.
Less than 2 minutes later most of the rest of the group pulled in (why didn't I pedal slower?)
It wasn't until later, maybe when we were pulling out, that I noticed Andrea wasn't with us. I asked a couple riders if they saw her, no one seemed overly concerned, I assumed that she had picked up with Dawn and some of the other riders from mile 50. I assumed wrong.
Hindsight what it is, I think we need a better way to account for all the riders at each stop. Cell phones anyone?

Part 4: The Really Ugly
Needless to say I was less than enthused about the last 20 miles of the ride. Greg's words kept coming back to me all the way until the end. "We were really dumb" between miles 25 and 50, and I knew it was time to pay for mistakes made.
The ride into Erving wasn't terribly bad, even though every part of my body was in pain, especially my bottom (I wish I could find the illusive "perfect saddle" but I'm not sure it exist), at that point there was still hope of finishing with the 2nd group.
Then came mile 88 when all hope left me. Time to pay for another mistake.
All the time between miles 50 and 80 while I tried hanging with riders I should never have tried hanging with, and after getting dropped, riding alone thinking about dryer sheets, Liz, and other things, I managed to make the worst mistake of all. A total rookie mistake!
I forgot to take in liquids and food during those miles. I know enough about long distance riding to understand the importance of keeping hydrated and eating enough food to prevent bonking. Too bad for me for early deciding of going for the glory of a podium spot instead of riding smart.
Even at the mile 80 SAG where I knew I'd spent a lot of calories and fluids over the previous 30 miles, I still didn't think I needed to drink much more than a few glasses of water, some chex mix and a gel pack. I didn't want to tempt fate, so I stayed away from the bananas.. Again, dumb mistake (the theme of the day).
At mile 88 my back was beinging to hurt so I got up off the saddle to strech a little - and that's when the pain hit, I'd never felt anything like it before (that didn't involve whips and chains anyway), it was enough to cause me to fall right back down on my seat. My left hamsting cramped. Not bad enough to give up, but bad enough to know it was going to be a problem for the rest of the ride.
I watched as riders rode away, no chance of a podium spot, or finishing anywhere near the front for that matter. Oh well...
I caught on to the next group of riders, rode with them into Deerfield, things got a little mixxed up at the lights, I rode through the red light (bad move I know), and waited for the rest of the group. I started feeling good again.
Until I got out of my saddle again and the pain hit again, only this time the cramping moved into my quad - I knew I was screwed and that's when I basically had one goal in mind, making it back to the parking lot without the help of a car or ambulance.
A lot of what happened after that is a blur - the last thing I clearly remember is someone shouting "Right Turn", thankfully it was into the parking lot where all this began.

The ride into the parking lot wasn't the best part of the day, but it was certianly a relief knowing those 103 miles were done and I could notch my second century of my short and less than fulfilling career as a bike rider.
When the ride was over I asked Charlie how many centuries he had under his belt, he told more than he wanted to remember.
Same for Paul Skerry, and I'm sure Big Dave and others too…… None of them looked completely wasted when I saw them in the parking lot, I'm sure none of them rode like a DUMB ass either. Oh well, live and learn I guess. I might get this right in a another 10 or so years - I just need to learn who to listen to (Big Dave who told me to go easy when we pulled out of the mile 25 SAG), and who NOT to listen to (Tattoo Dave - "sometimes you just can't say no").

All things considered, and now that I've a couple days to recover, it was definitely the high point of the year for me. And I'm looking forward to many more to come if I don't sell my bike before next season……

Thanks to all the Tuesday nighters who made this another memorable year, even though it isn't officially over until the last ride on the 22nd. Don't forget to save your appetite, I heard Il Forno's is going to be offering up Chicken Parm flat bread sandwiches